The Christmas Story (Retold and Illustrated By Oldest)


Oldest wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas.

Here is her gift to you (along with italicized, satirical commentary by yours truly)!






Gabriel told Mary that she would be having a baby.

(Gabriel is well known for his loud voice and expressive mannerisms as portrayed in the picture to the left. Naturally, Mary was in shock and needed to sit down to gasp. Added tidbit, Mary was the only blue-eyed women in her Jewish town.)

Gabriel told Joseph that the baby will be called Jesus and He will be the Son of God.

(Again, Gabriel held true to form by yelling and waving his hands wildly while declaring the words of the Lord to the equally shocked Joseph.  Joseph not only was the chosen earthly father of Jesus but a hairstyle trend setter. It’s well-known within the hairstylist community that Joseph rocked the first mullet. ROCK IT!!)




They went to Bethlehem. 

(Look at that donkey… standing tall with a joy filled smile on his face. He’s ready for an adventure… ready for his part in this story.)

They got ready and they rode a donkey.

(Look at that donkey all slump down as Mary plops her heavy load on top of it’s back… but… the donkey is still smiling! What a trooper!! Oh… one question. Where the heck is Joseph? Hello… your wife is pregnant man… help her get on the darn donkey!! MEN!!!)




When they arrived at Bethlehem… 

(Baby Jesus was one of those “I carried ’em all over my body” type of babies. Poor Mary… I had one of those babies too. “Cute” was not a word I used to describe myself!! Joseph looks pretty happy though… probably because he didn’t just travel across country with a human being in his body. Seriously… look at the face Mary is making… it must have been rough ride. The inn keeper seems a bit dismayed.  One might assume Mary went off on him for not making room for her “human growing vessel” to rest. He seems a bit intimidated and quite… small. You tell him Mary! The least he could do is offer you a place in the stables out back!! MEN!!!)

SIDE-NOTE: Blue was all the rage back then!




… baby Jesus was born! (We welcome you brown-eyed, non-American looking baby Jesus! And we love you!!)


“Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men.”

I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”(John 14:27)

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)


I hope you have peace even if your world is anything but peaceful!!

Merry Christmas to you all!



Your Moderate Mama