Category Archive: MODERATELY FUNNY

What The Heck Does “Manly” Mean?

  Standing in the express line at our local Kroger store, I found myself behind an elderly gentleman holding a large, vibrant arrangement of flowers. The line was long so I decided to interrupt his internal conversation and impose… Continue reading

What Should We Do Tonight? (A Tragic Poem About Dashed Dreams)

    What a wonderfully dreary, cold winters night, let’s do something that brings us joy and delight!

He That Smelt It Dealt It?

  The Moderate family was enjoying a movie the other night. My tummy bubbled. (you know… when the air takes that sharp corner around the left side of one’s intestines)

Change Is Frustrating For Moderate Daddy

  Multiple people who’ve known Moderate Daddy since birth have told me he was born an “old soul”… aka… he thinks and acts like an old man!

The Christmas Story (Retold and Illustrated By Oldest)

  Oldest wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Here is her gift to you (along with italicized, satirical commentary by yours truly)!

If You Could Give Your Friends One Gift For Christmas It Would Be… ?

  The year was 2009. The month was December. Moderate Daddy and I attended a Christmas party where a dear friend of mine told the following story. DEAR FRIEND: “My daughter brought home a paper… Continue reading

The Eyes of The Elf (a chilling poem about redirected judgment)

The Eyes of The Elf Once upon a wintry day, A tiny, blue-eyed fellow looked my way. I’d heard rumors about this magical elf. Mamas kept declaring, “He should be on your shelf!”… Continue reading

Fall Decorating

  Like clockwork, when September 30th turns into October 1st, the decorating bug bits me square on the bottom. I dream… I plan… I obsess… I shop… I plan again… I go a little crazy!… Continue reading

A Day In The Life Of My Stretchy Pants

    A Day In The Life Of My Stretchy Pants   (knock, knock, ding, dong) Oh my gosh, it’s twelve past three. A delivery is coming, that’s just my luck, probably something… Continue reading

Next Halloween Will Cost More Than My Nicest Pair Of Shoes!

  Halloween… the official kick off to the holiday season… it’s a neighborhood affair. Our front yard is the hosting ground for the hotdog cookout (slash) potluck (slash) dessert extravaganza. Our neighbors front yard is the… Continue reading

Day Light Savings… A Call for Abolishment!!

  Most of us mamas had a crappy Sunday morning. And now the fear of what is to become of our children and our mental sanity during the next few weeks has set in. Unless… Continue reading

Three Cookies (a tragic poem about the love and depravity of mothers)

Do We Praise Our Children… Too Much?

  Trophies for everyone! Participation ribbons for all!! Saying “that looks awesome” about a scribble picture!!! Affirmation (aka… praise) plays an important roll in the process of a human developing a healthy, well grounded sense… Continue reading

ME + HIM = LOVE

  One morning, at a little private Christian school in Texas, a young, pale skinned, freckled, chill bowl sportin’ 10th grader walked thru the double doors. It was the first day of school.… Continue reading

Fruit and Potty Parts

One  result of having children of the opposite sex is that being around the opposite sex becomes normal everyday living. Boys are boys… girls are girls… no big deal.. nothing new here! My boys won’t think girls… Continue reading

Honey… The Bathroom is Not A Mini Vacation Destination!

As all us mama’s know… when Mother Nature calls… we can’t always answer. Or worse, we answer then have to put her on hold!   Wiping little butts, breast-feeding/making meals, breaking up fights,… Continue reading

Homophones are Horribly Frustrating

Saturday evening, the Moderate Family went to a local art festival that Moderate Pop Pop (my dad) was in. Great food, good music and wonderful art filled our night with memories, laughter and a… Continue reading

Church is Making My Children Sick!

Is it a sign? Is it coincidence? I don’t know but what I do know is every action has a reaction. As for Sundays… we go to church… have a wonderful time of… Continue reading

Things My Oldest Will Do Differently… or So She Says!

I’m not so naive to think my children will parent just like I parent! Even though Oldest is only 7, I’ve already been informed of a few things she’s for certain she’ll do differently.

For The Love of My Wallet, Eat Your Veggies… PLEASE!!

  $27,118… I’m quite certain that’s how much money the Moderate Family has wasted on well-intentioned, uneaten veggies!!! Right? Right!!