He That Smelt It Dealt It?


The Moderate family was enjoying a movie the other night.

My tummy bubbled. (you know… when the air takes that sharp corner around the left side of one’s intestines)

I knew what was inevitably going to happen but I’m your typical “exhausted by 7pm” kind of mama and the selfless idea of getting up to fart in other room was not convincing enough to get me up off the couch.

MY MIND: “I bet I can get away with this. Nice and slow and silent.  Oh man… but sometimes the silent ones are the worse… welp… I’m not getting up so here goes! Keep a modest smile on your face (just enjoying The Equestria Girls over here) so no one thinks it’s you.”




Silent and deadly indeed!!

Immediately I regretted my lazy choice to not excuse myself. How could I have expose my family to this waft of burnt tire smell?


Nervously looking around,  I waited for my “POOF” to reach the innocent noses of my beloved family.






When it attacked Middle’s sense of smell he let out a quick, frightened, shooked…




Embarrassed and very confused, Middle said…






Poor boy!

Normally when there’s an awful smell he is to blame (or his daddy… male being the common denominator in this equation).

He’d never assume it was his mommy! (that’s because I’m made of sugar and spice and EVERYTHING nice)


What horrible, selfish act has your child or husband taken the fall?


It’s Been a (rubber tire smelling fart) Pleasure,

Your Moderate Mama