He That Smelt It Dealt It?
The Moderate family was enjoying a movie the other night.
My tummy bubbled. (you know… when the air takes that sharp corner around the left side of one’s intestines)
I knew what was inevitably going to happen but I’m your typical “exhausted by 7pm” kind of mama and the selfless idea of getting up to fart in other room was not convincing enough to get me up off the couch.
MY MIND: “I bet I can get away with this. Nice and slow and silent. Oh man… but sometimes the silent ones are the worse… welp… I’m not getting up so here goes! Keep a modest smile on your face (just enjoying The Equestria Girls over here) so no one thinks it’s you.”
Silent and deadly indeed!!
Immediately I regretted my lazy choice to not excuse myself. How could I have expose my family to this waft of burnt tire smell?
THIS IS NOT LOVE!!!
Nervously looking around, I waited for my “POOF” to reach the innocent noses of my beloved family.
When it attacked Middle’s sense of smell he let out a quick, frightened, shooked…
Embarrassed and very confused, Middle said…
Poor boy!
Normally when there’s an awful smell he is to blame (or his daddy… male being the common denominator in this equation).
He’d never assume it was his mommy! (that’s because I’m made of sugar and spice and EVERYTHING nice)
What horrible, selfish act has your child or husband taken the fall?
It’s Been a (rubber tire smelling fart) Pleasure,
Your Moderate Mama
Hahahaha, so far past the walking out of the room stage!! My son wishes I would though!!
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Oh jeez, this is too funny. I’ve heard of blaming the dog, but this takes it to a whole new level. Well done, well done!
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This is sooo funny. In my family, I never actually let my little ones take the blame, but everyone else in the family farts so much more often than I do. Usually if I let one loose and it reaches their noses, they all start blaming each other and by the time that’s through, they don’t even think to investigate the possibility that it may have been me. Also, by that time, probably one of them farted anyway!!
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“…probably one of them farted anyway!” This made me laugh!!! The family that farts together stays together.
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You need a dog. Then everybody’s sensibilities are protected.
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Hahahahah! rofl!
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Hee Hee
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Sarah, you’re killing me!!! I’m laughing so hard right now I can’t even comment. Tomorrow when I get in the car, I’m going to look down at my tires and GIGGLE! 😉
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That will give you a lot of chances to laugh… there are 4 tires per car!!
Nice to hear from you lovely friend!!!
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Those drawings are priceless:)
At our home: Teen girl announces it, “I farted”.
Teen boy will usually walk over to teen girl and aim his butt inches from her and immediately crack it off, loud and clear. Sometimes he does this to the dog who seems to enjoy the smell.
Farts are hilarious and I am a child.
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I will add that to the list of experiences I’m looking forward to when my little ones are teenagers!!
I’m a child too 😉
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Hilarious! Once when I was tired of going to another room and my 2 year old heard it, she declared “mama wants to go the loo!” Embarrassing!
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Oh I would love to hear “loo” come out of a child’s mouth!
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My 3 year old let a huge one rip last night, started laughing, then said, “That was funny, daddy.”
I had to agree.
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Yes… so many bodily functions are very funny… and inappropriate… and funny 😉
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😃😃😃
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😉
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I’m laughing so hard! I wish I could get away with it. There’s only two of us and a dog. Even with a dog I don’t get away with it. Leaving the room? Pft…;-)
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Don’t toot laughing!! 😉
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Clenching and laughing..
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Your pictures crack me up!
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Why thank you!
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Oh my goodness! I have been in this situation so many times.I laughed the whole way through your post. 🙂
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it’s nice to know I’m not the only un-lady like mama!! Thanks for stopping by!!
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I laughed and laughed. Before long those kids are going to be old enough to read your blog and BOY ARE YOU GOING TO BE IN TROUBLE. Every time I think about it I start laughing again.
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if all else fails blame the Elephants
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This post was hilarious. 😀 I’m looking forward to reading your other posts as time permits. Love your name, btw. ‘Tis also my moms name minus the h. Hope you’re having a nice weekend Sarah.
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I’m not saying a thing 😉
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You’re a funny guy!! I like you!!
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That’s good, because I like you too, but I’m still not saying anything. 😉
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Precious! I can’t wait for one of them to eventually read this & realise Mom isn’t made of sugar & spice (& everything nice!)
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