The Eyes of The Elf (a chilling poem about redirected judgment)
The Eyes of The Elf
Once upon a wintry day,
A tiny, blue-eyed fellow looked my way.
I'd heard rumors about this magical elf.
Mamas kept declaring, "He should be on your shelf!"
His job, this Elf, was to keep a close eye
On my children, to be sure nothing bad he did spy.
Then straight to Santa he'd report
And hopefully my children would behave like good sports.
Suddenly, raw, chilling images I did see.
What if during the night the Elf turned his blue eyes on me?
Somethings I do might be deemed a bit shoddy,
Some might even consider them quite naughty!
He'd wait quietly after his nighttime patrol
And sit high on the back of my porcelain bowl.
At 8:15 in the morning he'd say with a look...
The next day he'd cunningly make his way
To the back of my refrigerator and patiently stay.
Then while moving the lettuce, shielding my face from view...
Fearfully I'd start to look all about,
I would not see him, today he's not out.
Pulling into my drive after 3 stores that I dread...
And as assuredly as birds live in nest
The next night, on top of my pillow he'd rest.
As my husband gives me the come hither stare...
So I will not welcome that Elf in my home
To drag my December through a fine toothed comb!
Because like our offspring, we too act like kids.
And if Santa knew, OUR gifts he'd forbid!
This is hilarious and oh-so true!
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Thank You!
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Very cute! Love the poetry and mixed with clever illustrations! May I request more? Is this based on those shelf elves? Don’t really know much about them myself but another blogger blogged about them.
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Believe me friend… you don’t want to know!! 😉
Search that creepy fellow on Pinterest and get ready to have your mind blown!
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Oh gosh…I am very scared!!
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I totally did not realize that the Elf on the shelf was for that reason. I was so oblivious, I just thought it was a cute way to count down the days until Christmas and make the house more merry. Haha, next year I will have to use it the correct way… maybe. 🙂
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Oh I’m sure he could be used that way!! I’m not anti-Elf… I just find him scary!! 🙂
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Haha… Being watched all time is creepy for sure!
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OOOH I love it! Too funny – staring at the garage door cracked me up! That creepy little elf isn’t welcome in my house either! 🙂
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Thank you!!
I do that so often… wait in the drive.. that I finally had to confess to Moderate Daddy. He laughed and said he totally understands! I love that man!!!
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I may or may not be hiding elves in your house just to freak you out!! Love it.
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That it would!!!
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The elf definitely needs to to! I love you poem, your drawings and your “old yesterday” milk!
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YOU NOTICED!!! I should not be surprised 😉
Merry Christmas my friend!!
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I so did. Merry Christmas. 🙂
Oh the elf needs to go not to….lol
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Oh, so true! And I have to say I absolutely adore your blog!
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Aimee… that means so much to me, that you enjoy my blog! Thank you for making my day!!
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This made me laugh so much! It has given my day the good cheer it was lacking!
😛
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I’m so glad… I have a lot of fun writing it and drawing the pictures.
Question: When can we expect another amazing video from you?
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I have been working on a new post to explain my absence – recent schedule clashes have made it hard to sit down and animate – but I PROMISE I’m working on it!
😀
In the meantime, I’m just enjoy being a reader of your great blog!
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I don’t know how to make a “blushing face” but if I did I would make one!!!
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Bwahahaha!
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This was too funny! My son is only 16 months, so I have not started the elf thing. I’m hoping that by the time he is old enough to want one that the elf goes out of style. It’s already a little creepy that Santa “sees you while you’re sleeping” without the even creepier elf!
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I agree!!! Santa’s all seeing eyes are enough!!
My 7 year old daughter told me that her friends at school were talking about a magical elf… she wanted me to get one and I said, “HECK NO… but I love you!”
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Oh my! I’m laughing so hard right now!
We never had an Elf on the Shelf in our house, but I’ve been on FB enough to know what the concept is.
Speaking of FB…this is going on my page over there. Too hilarious not to share!!
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Well Merry Christmas to me!!! Thanks MamaM for the kind words and the share!!!
We don’t have an Elf either… the poem explains part of the reason why 😉
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