Honey… The Bathroom is Not A Mini Vacation Destination!

man on toilet

As all us mama’s know… when Mother Nature calls… we can’t always answer. Or worse, we answer then have to put her on hold!

 

Wiping little butts, breast-feeding/making meals, breaking up fights, designing a quick bat costume because your children just watched a Magic School Bus show about bats… the reasons are infinite.
The problem is finite… when you ignore Mother Nature… she gets ticked off and stops calling.

Oh… why hello there Father Constipation!!

Most daddy’s don’t spend their weekdays surrounded by little people who can do NOTHING for themselves, so, how are they supposed to know what it’s like to go day after day holding your… well… you know what?

So… when any of the following happens (usually first thing in the morning when the children are cranky, hungry and impatient)…


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DSC_0662OR…

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OR…

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…and we get upset because our potty time is more like a swift trip through the McDonald’s drive through… there is really no one to blame but ourselves!

THE BOY IS CLUELESS!!!

Mama, it’s time to say… very sweetly… “Honey, we need to discuss your “potty time” habits.

To help you with this, slightly awkward, exchange of words, I wanted to provide you with Moderate Daddy’s “potty time” rules.

Moderate Daddy’s “Potty Time” Rules:

  1. No waiting for Mother Nature to call. You go when she is on the phone!!
  2. No catching up on your “thinking” time
  3. No catching up on your “reading” time
  4. You get in… you get out… you get your butt back to work!

It’s really very simple… the potty is not a mini vacation destination!

HONESTY CHECK: Since having our talk… Moderate Daddy has wasted less time in the bathroom and more time making breakfast… thanks Honey! I love you!!

EXTRA: Moderate Daddy is a bit nervous people will think he’s the one sitting on the potty in the picture above. Let me state, “That is not Moderate Daddy! His legs are much hairier!!”

 

SCENE: Me drawing the pictures for this post

OLDEST: “Mama, what are you drawing?”

ME: “Pictures of Daddy using the potty.”

OLDEST: “Why?”

ME: “Well… that’s what I’m writing about.”

OLDEST: (deep in thought) “But Mama… everyone knows how to use the potty, I don’t think ANYONE is going to be interested!!

 

It’s Been an “impatient” Pleasure,

Your Moderate Mama

 

SCIENCE MOMENT: When constipation calls, Natural Vitality CALM Magnesium (link) is the way to “go”! I personally learned, after hundreds and hundreds of dollars spent on tests and pills and doctors, that my body lacked the mineral Magnesium. Magnesium helps to draw water into your intestine which is needed to poop… trust me!

 

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