There’s A 90% Chance Your Sweet Little Boy Will Hit You!
BACKGROUND: My middle child was 19 months old. My oldest was at swim lessons with the best swim teacher EVER (We love you Ms. Suzy!!)
SCENE: At the park by Ms. Suzy’s house
ME: “Middle it’s time to go get Sissy!”
MIDDLE: (MELT DOWN EXTRAVAGANZA)
ACTIONS: I take Middle, pick him up, and go to put him into the car. Middle grabs my ponytail with his sweet tiny left hand, holds my head back and clocks me three times, square in the face with his, oh so precious, right fist.
ME: (SHOCK AND HORROR and silence. I took no actions in the area of discipline because I was angry. That discipline would not have been out of love)
ACTIONS: I strap Middle in and call my husband
ME: (uncontrollable tears) “Honey, I think for the first time I feel hatred towards one of my kids! Middle just physically assaulted me and if he were an adult I would have hurt him.”
This was the beginning of a long stage (about 8 months).
First I want to brag a bit about my Middle. He is nurturing, affectionate, snuggly, affirming, goofy, thoughtful and everyones best friend. He is pure joy!!
He has “not so brag worthy traits” as well, one being a temper. From birth we knew he was going to have this struggle. All 5 of us struggle with anger (we like to call it passion).
But let me say that under the guidance of God, passion ignites into righteous anger which is a glorious thing!
SIDE-NOTE: I use to think that people would say “oh, it’s just a stage” because they were lazy, worthless parents.(I know, I was an ignorant jerk. But weren’t we all?!) Let me state that there are some true, well defined stages that thankfully, with loving guidance and character nurturing, will pass (but sadly might pop back up 2 years later)
One of these stages is the whole point to this post.
THE TESTOSTERONE FLUSH!! Something happens between 12 month and 24 months. I think it is a flush of testosterone. Middle turned into an all around angry and frustrated little man. Don’t get me wrong, he was my sweet snuggly boy but his anger was like nothing I had seen before. He was a live action “roid-rage” commercial. Example…
SCENE: In the kitchen
ME: “What do you need baby? Water?
ME: (oh gosh just one more guess left, here goes) “Juice?”
MIDDLE: (screaming while giving the cabinet a good ol’ punch)
SIDE-NOTE: His anger subsided tremendously once he developed communication skills.
They know what they’re asking us and don’t understand why we’re so stupid!!
I am telling you all this in love. I’ve past this information on to friends who had boys after I did. All of whom just looked at me like, “Oh you don’t know MY sweet little boy!”
Each one of them is now a FIRM believer in the Testosterone Flush.
I hope you will be apart of the chosen 10% who do not have to go through this but if you are in the thick of it like the rest of us 90% do the following:
1. Take a DEEP breath
2. Remember your sweet little boy is normal (and aren’t us women thankful for our man’s higher levels of testosterone?! I know I am!!)
3. Once dad is home, go hang out either alone or with good, non-judgmental friends
4. Pray for patience to discipline and nurture with love (for my thoughts on this, go to Character Nurturing)
5. Give it time… it’s a stage!!!
*Disclaimer: The idea of a testosterone flush has not been researched by your humble writer. It’s just a “mom hunch”. If your son or daughter is physically abusive beyond the point of reason, I would suggest talking to their doctor!
It’s been a Pleasure,
Your Moderate Mama
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